Posts tagged Michelle Obama
Posts tagged Michelle Obama
Namaste! And Happy Hindu Festival of Lights, or Diwali, Wonketteers! Did you even know that Diwali is a thing that you are missing right now if you are not of the Hindu persuasion, or maybe Michelle Obama? Because Michelle Obama, Lady of all things First, knows it is Diwali, and is hosting a ceremony today, in yet another endeavor to ruin the White House forever and ever, with her multi-culti tributes to things that are not about being a proper First Lady, like this is a country with all kinds of faiths and beliefs and diversity or something dumb and ridiculous like that.
And also, Congress has a bi-partisan resolution to make Diwali a thing that we “officially” recognize:
The First Lady will provide remarks at the White House Diwali celebration,” the White House announced on Friday. A media advisory said the festival of lights would be observed on November 5.
Meanwhile, US Senators John Cornyn and Mark R Warner, co-chairs of Senate’s bipartisan India Caucus, announced that they would introduced a bipartisan resolution in the Congress to recognise the religious and historical significance of Diwali.
The resolution honours an important tradition of Hindus, Sikhs, and Jains in the flourishing Indian-American community in the US as well as those of our partners in India, they said.
Partners in India, eh? Like, the people who we want to do a lot of international business with — this is a thing to them, so we are going to be cool about their thing? And that is how whiteys like Senators John Cornyn of Texas and Mark Warner of Virginia end up as co-chairs for the “India Caucus”? Oh well, since this is the only kind of thing y’all are really capable of in Congress any more, just, carry on we guess.
Apparently Barack Obama is as bad at Halloween as you Terrible Ones are at caption contests! (Why do you suck, Terrible Ones? WHYYYYYY?) Michelle Obama, meanwhile, at least went as a Mean Girl, with the animal ears but minus the “something slutty.”
And to make matters worse, this is a recycled photo from Halloween 2009, but it is running on the “Barack Obama” twittenfeed today. And sure, while the feed is actually run by communist front group “Organizing For Action,” it just proves how hard Barack Obama fails at Halloween.
A cool president would dress up as Spider-Man.
We have never really “gotten” Kanye West, except for that time he said George Bush doesn’t care about black people, because of how that was awesome, and it was awesome because it was true. But we are really, really not getting Kanye West today. He was speaking to Ryan Seacrest — as you do — about how his fiancee, Kim Kardashian, is the hottest — she is quite hot — and basically started free-associating about how America is classist — it is — because millionaire Kim Kardashian is not on Vogue, but Michelle Obama is on Vogue, and Kanye West will not stand for that kind of oppression against millionaire Kardashians.
Amid the other atrocities occurring as a result of the gummint shutdown, count the White House vegetable garden a casualty. Politico reports on a story by food blogger Eddie Gehman Kohan, who reviews the damage:
“The vegetables filling the 1,500 square-foot plot are now rotting away on the vines and in the boxed beds, thanks to the mandate for ‘minimal maintenance’ placed on the skeletal crew of National Park Service gardeners who remain on duty at 1600 Penn.,”
Worse, gangs of squirrels, alleged to be associated with Tree Party activists, have moved aside the teensy weensy barriers around the garden and are having a field day pillaging the cherry tomatoes, as seen in the photo above. (Their itty bitty protest signs are still more accurately spelled than those outside the White House, however.)
Conservatives have a hard time deciding what to find more shocking: the suspension of White House tours because of the sequester, or the insanely outrageous cost of having an Executive Mansion in the first place, especially if the hired help puts their unworthy feet up on the furniture. Today’s review looks at an e-book that falls in the latter camp, John F. Groom’s The 1.4 Billion Dollar Man: Costs of the Obama White House, which was actually published last September but continues to be fodder for whining by NRO and moronic speeches at CPAC, so we will call it “timely.”
Make no mistake about it: this e-book is one terrible little waste of electrons. We mourn for the senseless slaughter of ones and zeroes that otherwise could have gone into a video of a cat jumping into a box. But since this thing exists, let’s give it the mockery it so richly deserves.
At its heart, The $1.4 Billion Man is Uppity Obama Porn, that genre of polemic that portrays the president as living far beyond any rational standard of decency, both because Times Are Hard and because Who Do Those People Think They Are? Predictably, Groom compares the Obamas to Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, because instead of doing something to help average Americans (you know, like heading off a new Depression or reforming health care), the President in this alternate reality does nothing but play golf all the time while his wife goes on one exotic vacation after another, both of them fiddling while America burns.
Michelle Obama: Today I will be on Twitter taking your questions about my Let’s Move campaign! Would anyone like to ask me about it?
Wingnuts Everywhere: BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI.
Time for the Wonkeratti to have a moment of Zoidbergian excitement: Hooray! Somebody noticed us! Of course, it was only the troglodytes at Weaselzippers, who were utterly perplexed that anyone could like Michelle Obama, what with her big butt and mannish looks and all.
One of our loose rules here at Your Wonkette is that, as the deposed tyrant put it not long ago, “We try not to delve too often into comments sections for material, because honestly.” Unless, you know, the comments are so completely beyond reason as to be hilarious. Presumably, our comments saying “she’s a pretty lady” are just as baffling to denizens of the Wingosphere, and therefore cause for derision, as their insistence that she is a boorish, fat, ghetto sasquatch appears to us. And of course, morally equivalent.
By now you have all seen this gif of Michelle Obama rolling her eyes at John Boehner like she is a 14-year-old girl.
But we have a pressing question: What doubtless off-color and probably disgusting joke did Ol’ Ginblossom tell to make our always poised and gracious First Lady react like that?
We really hope she’ll follow us, so we wrote her a birthday pome. It may need some work.
They make sure not to rub in the fact that Australia had a bunch already first.